Thursday, October 25, 2012

On Becoming a Working Mom

After a long period of searching and applying, I finally found a job! Tomorrow I will be completing my second work week and it’s incredible how different my life is from just two weeks ago. To be honest, I was terrified of the transition from stay-at-home mom to working mom. I think it has gone a lot better than anticipated.
The first few days were rough. The kids cried and didn’t want me to leave. I felt like crying myself most of the time. However, by Friday of last week my daughter was already anxious to get rid of me and carry on with her day, yelling at me to: “Get out of the car, Mummy! Go to work!”
I miss the kids. I hate being away from them. Especially since it was never planned for me to go to work full time. But, as you know, sometimes life doesn’t care about what your plans were and things change. Right now, it is important for me to work full time and that is what I have to do.
A lot of mothers have told me that I shouldn’t be sad, that I was so lucky to have been able to stay home for as long as I did. While they are right and I have been incredibly fortunate, I am still entitled to my feelings and I am still allowed to express my sadness at being away from my children. I believe it is always important to acknowledge your emotions and deal with them in the best way possible, no matter what others may think.
Truthfully, being back at work does have its perks. This is the most alone time I have had in over three and a half years! I get to eat by myself, in peace, without little people screaming at me, wanting food off my plate, talking my ear off, etc. It’s incredible- I just sit in silence and eat. After my lunch, I usually go for a nice walk around the beautiful park down the road and it is so soothing to my soul. I get to listen to music all by myself. Or read a book. My breaks are like little vacations.

The park by my office

Suddenly I get to be around people who have nothing to do with my children, who are not even aware of their existence. They don’t see me as the mother of R and E- to them I’m just Vivien. It’s like I’ve been living in an alternate universe and have suddenly arrived back in the real world, where people talk about grown-up things rather than potty training and how to sneak vegetables into your child’s diet.
Of course, there are other things about being back at work that suck. Like having to actually work. And using communal bathrooms. Somehow I had this idea in my head that I would finally get to go to the bathroom in peace, without children commenting on what I’m doing, fighting each other to determine who gets to flush, etc. What I forgot about was that you’re never alone in the bathrooms at work. You’re in a stall next to other women and there is really not much privacy. It doesn’t help that the toilets in our office building creak as if they have reached their maximum weight capacity and are about to rip out of the wall.
I still can’t quite believe it: I’m a working mother now. Going from stay-at-home mom to working mom has been easier than I thought so far, but it still isn't easy. I’ll keep you posted…

3 comments:

  1. I'm so proud of you. You're handling it with such grace. I'm glad the kids are adapting and that you can find some good from the transition besides money :)

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  2. So great! You'll of course miss them terribly, but so nice to have some time of your own too.

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