Thursday, February 17, 2011

Your Baby Can Read? Big deal!

My baby boy is now 3 ½ months old. Time really flies. He is a big baby- at three months he had already doubled his birth weight. This doesn’t make him any better or worse than other babies. I’m quite sure it wasn’t a conscious decision he made to get his fat cells to multiply and fill up. Yet, everyone (and I mean that literally) feels the need to comment on his size. It gets very old, especially since each person- or expert, as they may consider themselves- says something different about him: “My God, he’s huge.”, “Wow, he’s a big boy!”, and my favorite “Oh my, he’s tiny!”…

For some reason, people feel the need to compare children all the time. During the early infant stage, it’s just height and weight. As soon as baby starts moving, it goes on to who is rolling over first, crawling, standing, walking, talking, etc. Then the potty training race begins. Do people really think that their child is going to be better than others because he/she peed in the potty at 18 months? I sincerely doubt it.

I understand that we all secretly think our children are the best- the most beautiful, the smartest, etc. We’re supposed to think that, we’re their parents. We’re also supposed to feel proud of them. It might just be healthy to realize that we cannot pat ourselves on the back for the genetic cocktail that grew into our child. The fact that my baby has gained weight like a Thanksgiving turkey has very little to do with me. He gets the same milk my daughter got and she was nowhere near as big as him. I haven’t done a single thing differently.

We need to keep in mind that while being fat as a baby is desirable and super cute, the opposite is true when the children get older. The race will then evolve around who has the skinniest child. My children are perfect to me, regardless of their body mass index. I’m taking all compliments given to me about my chubby little man with a grain of salt- the same people will be nagging me to feed him less in just a few months.

What it boils down to is this: your children shouldn't be defined by things that are beyond anyone’s control. This is not a competition. I am going to do the best possible job of raising my children, regardless of what you do with yours. Physical traits are unimportant, for the most part. My baby is big now, one day he may be the smallest in his class. I will love him just the same.

If you were able to teach your baby to read, that’s great. Frankly, I don’t care. I don’t think it will make him/her a better person. All I want is for my children to make the most of their lives and be happy. Maybe even do some good in this world. So, unless your child has won the Nobel Peace Prize, I am not going to be awed. There is always going to be someone who is smarter/ prettier/ taller/ skinnier than your child. If you don’t know that then chances are you might be very disappointed some day…


  1. Love it! Exactly how I feel! I constantly say, "There will ALWAYS be someone taller, richer, poorer, thinner and smarter." I want Reed to grow up to be a humbled godly man. That is all that matters to me. Thanks for the blog!:)

  2. I totally agree, but my babies really are the smartest! KIDDING :-) This reminded me of a book I read several yeas ago that said when you compliment children, comment on something they have actually done not a physical trait since this is completely out of their control and will not mean as much.

  3. As mothers we get worried sometimes that something is not developing right with our kids.. but we sure care the most about them being healthy and happy.. I always hated hearing how giant and Faty my son is.. and look at him now.. =)

  4. Well said!! Joey - I read the same thing about giving compliments ... I also heard to give them compliments on traits you want them to have.