Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Extremists AKA Attachment Parents

The latest cover of TIME magazine didn’t shock me. I was surprised that they devoted their number one story to Attachment Parenting, but it was not surprising that they would use such a provocative breastfeeding photo to do it. After all, a magazine’s main purpose is to make money (no, I don’t believe that they are more interested in real journalism and the greater good) and that photo definitely got everyone’s attention!
What has been surprising to me is the hatred that has been spewed in the direction of mothers who nurse their children beyond infancy and towards Attachment Parenting followers as a whole. Because I just had to see it, I recorded the episode of The View that featured Dr. Sears the other day. I just cannot get the whole train wreck of an interview out of my head. Most of the women there looked at that poor man as if he had suggested administering heroin to your babies! The utter disgust and disrespect on their faces made me hurt all over. Not to mention the fact that they hardly let him finish half a sentence.
Most of all, I remember Barbara Walters looking completely indignant, accusing Dr. Sears of making all working mothers feel guilty. Dr. Sears tried to explain that his ideas about parenting actually had nothing to do with whether a woman works or not- they can be practiced in any situation. And at the very end of the interview I finally realized what was behind all this animosity when Barbara exclaimed that it was making HER feel guilty. All the ‘ladies’ nastiness probably stemmed from their own parenting insecurities…
As a general response to all the bad press, putting down Attachment Parenting followers and their beliefs, I can only say: You’re all being ridiculous! Attachment Parenting has been made to look like this extremist form of parenting, this unattainable model of perfection, when all it is, in the tiniest of nutshells, is this: Responding to your baby’s needs.
Attachment Parenting is not something that has to be learned or studied. It is not a new idea. It is not radical or unusual and we are not extremists. Attachment Parenting is exactly what we would all do if we didn’t have the advice of family members, books and other media, pediatricians, OB/GYNs, countless other ‘professionals’, friends, neighbors, strangers at the grocery store, etc. If a woman were to end up on an island by herself, she would handle her baby exactly the way Attachment Parenting suggests- it is instinctive parenting that can be found in each and every one of us.
I didn’t start my parenting journey as an informed mother. I had no clue what I was doing. And the advice poured in from every angle possible, tearing me in opposite directions. Everyone knew best- after all, they had all done it before and been somewhat successful. Thankfully, I was given an Attachment Parenting book and immediately a light bulb went off in my head- Yes! This is it! This is what my inner most gut feeling has been telling me to do.
As soon as I had been enlightened, as soon as someone had given me the reassurance to listen to my inner voice, I knew that it was right. My baby knew what she wanted/needed from me and she was able to tell me beautifully. Finally, I was able to give her what she had been asking me for all along!
I am passionate about Attachment Parenting and all that it includes. However, I am not an extremist nor am I some sort of radical parent. I do what I feel is right, as does everyone else in the parenting world. I write about it a lot, but I never suggest that this is the right way for everyone, nor do I say that all other ways are wrong. I wish that respect and tolerance was given to parents like myself who have chosen a different way of doing things…
Therefore, in honor and support of Dr. Sears and his wonderful concept of Attachment Parenting, I will be writing a blog post every day for the next seven days, introducing you to the seven ‘B’s of the AP style of parenting. Just to clarify: this is not meant as some sort of criticism of other parenting styles, or a how-to guide, etc. I will just be writing about what the seven ‘B’s are and what they mean to me as a parent.
Tomorrow will be the first post- all about ‘Birth Bonding’. Fellow bloggers, won’t you join me? I will have a linky underneath my post for you to submit your own blog posts on the subject.
Let’s make it a carnival in celebration of Attachment Parenting!


  1. I have three kids under three, and I have not read a single parenting book. While most women read them like bibles during pregnancy, I always took the lazy way out and assumed that everything would come naturally when baby arrives. And you know what? It the form of "attachment parenting." I personally think it should be renamed "natural parenting."

    1. Elle, I'm just like you. I always did things the simplest, easiest, not natural way. I never even heard the term "attachment parenting" until kid #4 but it's exactly what I've been doing. I totally agree that it's natural parenting.

  2. Hello i am kavin, its my first time to commenting anywhere,
    when i read this article i thought i could also make comment due to this brilliant piece of writing.
    Here is my web site - hot halloween Costume

  3. Hi! I could have sworn I've been to this website before but after reading through some of the post I realized it's new to me.

    Nonetheless, I'm definitely delighted I found it and I'll be book-marking and checking
    back often!
    Feel free to surf my site ... insurance Traditional

  4. Good post. I learn something totally new and challenging on websites I stumbleupon everyday.

    It will always be exciting to read content from other authors and practice something from their web
    My blog post ... shopping reviews

  5. Great info. Lucky me I ran across your website
    by chance (stumbleupon). I've saved as a favorite for later!
    Feel free to visit my blog post ... search engine

  6. I'm gone to say to my little brother, that he should also visit this web site on regular basis to take updated from most up-to-date gossip.
    Also visit my site ... smoking drug

  7. Fastidious replies in return of this query with
    solid arguments and explaining the whole thing on the topic of that.

    Here is my site:

  8. Please let me know if you're looking for a article writer for your site. You have some really great posts and I think I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I'd abѕolutely love to writе ѕome articles for уour blоg
    in exсhange foг a link back to mine. Please
    send me аn email if interested. Manу thanks!

    Alsο visit my wеb blοg ::
    taxi service irving texas
    Also see my page - street smart taxi irving

  9. Wonderful goods from you, man. I've understand your stuff previous to and you're just extremely fantastic.
    I really like what you've acquired here, certainly like what you are stating and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it sensible. I can't wait to read far more from you.
    This is really a terrific web site.

    Here is my web page: coffee drinkers

  10. If you desire to increase your experience simply keep visiting this
    website and be updated with the newest news
    posted here.

    My web site ... Wikimess.Com

  11. Asking questions are really fastidious thing if you are
    not understanding something entirely, but this post gives nice understanding even.

    Also visit my web site;

  12. I am sure this piece of writing has touched all the internet users,
    its really really fastidious piece of writing on building
    up new web site.

    Check out my blog post:

  13. Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Many thanks, However
    I am experiencing troubles with your RSS. I don't understand the reason why I cannot subscribe to it. Is there anyone else having the same RSS issues? Anybody who knows the solution will you kindly respond? Thanks!!

    Here is my web page -

  14. Spot on with this write-up, I truly believe that this website needs far more attention.
    I'll probably be returning to read through more, thanks for the info!

    Stop by my blog post ... visit the following website

  15. Have you ever considered creating an ebook or guest authoring on other websites?
    I have a blog centered on the same ideas you discuss and would love to have
    you share some stories/information. I know my subscribers would enjoy your work.
    If you are even remotely interested, feel free to send
    me an e-mail.

    Review my webpage;

  16. Hi there! This blog post couldn't be written any better! Reading through this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He continually kept talking about this. I will send this post to him. Pretty sure he will have a very good read. Thank you for sharing!

    my weblog - just click the following web site

  17. I'm truly enjoying the design and layout of your site. It's a
    very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit more often.

    Did you hire out a developer to create your theme?

    Great work!

    my blog;

  18. Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog
    and wanted to say that I have truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts.
    In any case I'll be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!

    Feel free to visit my website; Time Warner Cable reviews

  19. Everyone loves what you guys are up too. This type of clever work and exposure!
    Keep up the amazing works guys I've added you guys to my own blogroll.

    my web site Fatin