Saturday, May 26, 2012

Diaper Surpises

If you are a regular diaper changer, you have experienced it at least once: the surprise poop. That sneaky little mess in your child’s pants that didn’t even give you a warning.
You decide to change your baby’s diaper because it’s been a few hours. You grab a fresh diaper and one wipe and chase down your running baby, who has no intention of cooperating with you. However, you feel confident because it’s nothing big to change, just a little pee.
You wrestle the baby to the ground and give him something entertaining to keep him still for 30 seconds. You open the diaper and gasp- what is that?!? That wasn’t supposed to be there! There was no smell! This cannot be!
Since you have wrestled your child down in the dining room, you have no access to additional wipes. The clock is ticking- you must act quickly. You utilize the lone wipe as best you can before the child loses interest in the distractive object you gave him. In despair, you ask your preschooler to help- more wipes! A different toy! Anything that will contain the mess!
Of course, the children have no interest in making this easier. In a ninja-type roll, your baby escapes your clutches and waddles off, while your other child has realized that she can destroy the house because you are way too busy dealing with the diaper situation to intervene in any way.
You quickly gather up the diaper off the floor and try to hurry to get additional wipes before the baby sits down anywhere. While you are striding towards the wipes, you see something falling out of the corner of your eye. You have lost some of the diaper contents, which immediately takes priority over all other matters. The escapee must be retrieved at once to avoid it being stepped on, picked up, eaten, or misused in any other fashion.
Trying to keep calm, you clean up the mess from the floor. Armed with more wipes than are now necessary, you find your baby and finish the job. In the kindest of tones, you try to convince your toddler/preschooler that helping mummy is actually a great thing. And you vow to never make the same mistake again- never open a diaper without checking for surprises.

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