Oh my goodness, I just realized how utterly boring my life has become. Not to me- there is no true boredom with two small kids. But how must it look from the outside? I’m sure people without kids want to shoot themselves to relieve themselves of the extreme boredom they feel after listening to what goes on in my life…
My former (not sure if it is former or not- I don’t want think so) best friend doesn’t even call me anymore. We used to talk every day, now it’s been weeks. She doesn’t have children. When she calls me, she tells me about all the interesting men she’s met (she’s single), the parties she’s been to, etc. The last time she called me, both my children were screaming at the top of their lungs. I can’t remember the exact reason, but it was something along the lines of ‘I’m screaming because he’s screaming’ and ‘I’m screaming louder because she’s screaming, too’- parents of siblings, you know what I’m talking about. I literally couldn’t understand a word my friend was saying. Unfortunately, that problem was mutual. Except that she of course was able to hear the unbelievable levels the volume in my house was taking on. I think that my children could easily outperform any siren- I’m willing to take bets. My poor friend was horrified, asking what was the matter. I told her the truth- nothing was the matter, they were just both screaming. I could hear how horrified she was by this. There was true pity in her voice. I haven’t spoken to her since.
I’m not saying I want to be without kids and/or husband again. I absolutely love my life and I wouldn’t change it for anything! However, in the midst of wiping yet another poop covered butt, I sometimes wonder how I got here. I used to go out a lot, have lots of fun with a variety of people, get drunk all the time. The highlight of this past week was that I taught myself how to knit. Nothing fancy, just a basic English knit stitch. I mean, really? Who is this person?!?
There is light at the end of the tunnel. My husband found out today that his retirement was approved. Which means that this time next year we will be somewhere else. Somewhere completely different, that we have chosen all by ourselves to be our new home. With awesome people (here’s hoping) and fantastic places to go. A girl can dream, right?
For now, I am content using my spare time to write a few lines and knit a few rows. Some nights, A and I even get to watch a movie (I thought Bridesmaids was totally overrated; I didn’t laugh like I was going to pee my pants and I totally thought I would…)! My life has lost a lot of its excitement. I think A and I are both ready to get our groove going again and be the fun people we used to be- with kids, of course.
I love this blog for the simple fact, us a parents all go through this and feel this way. Especially when I children are younger and parenting is still a new thing our lives transform into something else. Nothing any of us would give up for the world but we often find ourselves looking back at who we use to be and how did we get so boring.. lol!! I had my first child when I was 19, so I never really got to experience adult life on the wild side. Then I was 21 when I had Renee and life had just got chaotic. There were many times when I watched and listened to my single friends and I felt like I was missing out on something and often regretted having children before I could experience them because my life had seemed to become so dull and boring compared to theirs. It also did not help that my ex husband would say all the time how dull I had become and the only thing I had to talk about was my kids!
ReplyDeleteThen as my kids got older I realized that I could get out a little more and do more things! Problem was when I did get out, I found myself wishing to be home with my kids or having done something that they could involve my children because partying seemed to just bore me and was not anything I enjoyed seeing or being around. So that is when I told Jim to invite other families over to the house for dinner or we would be invited to their house. As parents we found that it was more fun and exciting to be around other families than a bunch of single people because other parents were on the same page as us. We would enjoy wonderful dinners together and then let the kids play for a few hours while we all talked and then put the kids all to bed. We would pull out the card games and other games and enjoy a couple drinks while playing girls against the guys or couples against couples.
Being a parent has a lot of ups and downs and sometimes has you wondering what has happened to yourself. Even though some of my single friends or even childless friends do not really talk with me as much because there are points when my house are chaotic and that is usually when they seem to call, I have come to feel that they are the ones missing out. Maybe my life is boring to them, but it is very rewarding to me and they could not possibly understand that even amongst the chaos, the love and the joys that my children have shown me beats everything this world has to offer. I am better for it and feel that I am a better person because of my children too.. boring and all.. lol!!!!
I was thinking about this same thing the other night. Some smell or song or feeling reminded me of when B and I were dating in college. I suddenly got those butterflies again and I haven't felt those in a while. I think B was watching a football game and it took me back to Saturdays in the fall up in Ohio:
ReplyDeleteI would wake up around 11am, go eat brunch (breakfast wasn't being served anymore, but I still wanted something sweet, so I would be creative when lunch was served at our student union). Then I would walk around with friends between different sports events. We would stay at the football game long enough to hear the bagpipers lead the team onto the field. Then we would walk over to the soccer game to cheer on our friends. To follow my busy (insert eye-roll) morning I would go to my on-campus job of taking care of 8 capuchin monkeys in the psych dept. After this I would go get a snack or take a nap. I might do some studying or writing, and then quickly find out where the fun would be that night. I would eat dinner with my friends, and go back to my room to watch a movie. Then at 10pm we would all start getting ready for the night's events, which usually involved dancing and checking out guys ( I wasn't a drinker in college). So the evening would end with one of my drunk friends in tears over some idiot she had made out with and I would help her home, get her in bed, and then go back to my room to crash.
oh- simpler times!
I wouldn't go back if someone paid me!
You are one of the most interesting people I have ever met! I'm so happy I met you at this stage in my life. You are such a great mom and woman. I'm inspired by you and grateful for the support and understanding that your place in life has brought to my life. You are still fun- you've just grown up and your priorities are different.
You will reconnect with that friend when she gets married and has kids. That has happened many times with my college friends. lucy k