What I Want to be When I Grow Up?

When I was in school, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. The German school system is very different from the American one and you have to choose two subjects as your majors for the last two grades of school. I chose English and Biology. English I was always good at, Biology was my passion. So when the time came to choose my major at university, I chose biology. It wasn’t easy to get into, but they accepted my application.

I was elated. I was so excited that things were going my way. And then, about two weeks into the semester, I realized that I hated it. I loved certain parts of biology, but the endless hours dissecting leaves and learning about their cells I hated. I hated the hours of Physics and Chemistry I had to take. Then I got sick- I had mono and missed two whole weeks of classes. You were only allowed to miss one. I would have had to take the semester again. I just couldn’t bare the thought of being so bored again. So, I quit.

I tried to find something that would suit me. I went to several places, on campus and off, that tried to help me find my direction. The employment office even offered an aptitude test for people who didn’t know what to do with their lives. What did they tell me? “Basically, you could do anything. There is no one particular field you are meant to work in.” Hmpf.

I had to do something. So, I enrolled in university again, changing my major to American Studies, just until I figured out what to do with my life. I studied it for a total of four years, changing my second major once from Japanese to Journalism/ Mass Communications (please don’t forget that the German system is completely different- at university, you only take classes relating to your major, etc.)

When my first baby came along, I knew this was it. This was what I was meant to do. I love motherhood! I really enjoy every minute of it. However, my babies are growing up- slowly, but steadily. And, unless my husband changes his mind, I will not be able to have a lot of babies in the future. My kids will start going to school and I will have to do something professionally again.

I have no idea what I want to do with my life. All the jobs I have had have been in an office environment. I am good at administrative work. The problem is that I find it suffocating. I would really like to avoid working in an office in my future professional life.

But what should I do? I could give writing a real shot. I have some book ideas. I am also good at writing news articles (please don’t judge me on my blog or the Examiner work- I really can write a real article, I promise!) I have a passion for biology still. I could picture myself being a nurse or even a doctor. But that would involve going back to school. However, it would also mean that I could help people. I am training to become a doula- maybe that is my calling? Birthing and motherhood are definitely things I am passionate about…

Dear readers, please help me! How does anyone decide what he/ she wants to do with their life? How did you know? I’m a little lost.