When my daughter was first born, I was completely reluctant to leave her with my husband for more than a few minutes. I was so worried about being away from her that I took showers in record speed, running out in a towel, still dripping wet, to get my crying baby. I really am a bit of a controlling person (that sounds horrible, but it’s true…) and I just couldn’t stand the thought of not being able to influence my baby’s surroundings. It bothered me when things weren’t being done exactly the way I usually did them.
Only now do I know how hurtful this must have been for my husband. It was also hindering for the father/daughter relationship. On top of that, I was making my own life much harder than necessary because my daughter would cry a lot when left with her daddy, which stressed me out and kept me from getting much of a break during the first year of her life.
I became pregnant with my second child and finally let my husband take over some of the duties. For example, he started putting R to bed each night and they really enjoyed this time together.
Suddenly I realized: daddy doesn’t have to do everything like mummy. My daughter didn’t expect him to nor did she want him to. Because daddy isn’t mummy- he is his own person and a different parent. He is daddy and he does things the way daddy does them! Now my daughter will often say to me: “No, I want Daddy to do it!”
It is important for us mothers- especially the ones who stay home with the kids and are around them 24/7- to surrender some of that control and let the daddies do their thing. After all, isn’t that what we have them for? Every child wants their daddy to be involved in their life- we need to let them!
I'm not even a very controlling person, but sometimes I get frustrated when my husband does something with the kids that isn't the way I do it. I have no idea why it throws me off so much, but it does. It's okay to do things differently - I know this. I just have such a hard time putting it in practice.
ReplyDeleteI agree. I've had to learn to let my husband do "his thing" when it comes to caring for our daughter and now our son. I too expected him to do things like I would but just as you realized, I now know my daughter enjoys the way her daddy tucks her in at night, or brush her teeth. We are blessed to had husbands who are willing to help!
ReplyDeletethat is the beauty of a mom and a dad!! My husband would throw those babies up in the air and they would squeal with delight...not me..I would cuddle them closely...they got both benefits!
ReplyDeleteGood for you. I'm afraid I'll be too controlling too...
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