The Brilliancy of Scam Emails

I would like to share with you an email I received recently because 1. I find it hilarious and 2. I want to expose schemes like this so kind, innocent minded people don’t somehow get scammed. The email came from a certain Mark Nelson, email address marknelson2471@aol.com – just in case you feel as though this is a valid employment offer you cannot refuse.

This is the email. There was no greeting:

Got your email through the google employment database.I am looking for someone who can handle my personal and business errands during his or her spare time.I need your service because I am constantly traveling abroad on business. I own an Art Gallery that specializes in international art.

At this point, I am second guessing my sanity and wondering if I ever entered my email address in any databases while I was too tired to know what I was doing. It continues:

Your Responsibilities are.

1. Receive my mail and Drop them off at the post office or shipping center.

2. Pay my bills on my behalf and sit for delivery at home.

3. Pick up my items at your nearby post office at your convenience.

4. When you get my mail or package, you would mail all items to where I want them shipped. .All expenses and shipping charges will be covered by me.

Of course, now I know that it is a scam. However, these shady job responsibilities make me curious as to what compensation will be promised. After all, even if this were a true job offer, the questionable duties sound as though I would be somehow involved in smuggling drugs or worse- might as well get paid handsomely for it. It goes on:

The contents of the packages are mostly art materials and paintings. In addition, there will be clothing I need for business and personal letters. No heavy packages are ever delivered!

Is cocaine heavy? I don’t know… Some more interesting info:

I am currently away on business in China. If you decide to accept the position, please read the employment requirements listed below.

1. Honest and trustworthy citizen.

2. You will be required to work between 15 and 20hrs a month

3 You need to be able to check your EMAIL 3 to 5 times daily.

Sweet! So I totally qualify, as do both of my toddler children and possibly my dogs and cats. Finally, the compensation is discussed:

THE PAY IS $500 WEEKLY and you are entitle to a brand new car after 1month if you are hardworking and honest with me, WHICH IS NOT A BAD OFFER.

OMG, I’m going to make a killing doing nothing AND I’m getting a free car?!? Even if this is a scam, I should go for it! This really is not a bad offer. I mean, what do I have to lose, right? Let’s see what else Mark needs from me:

In closing, I have a couple of questions for you.

First, If I were to mail you money to do my shopping plus an upfront payment for your service, where would you want it mailed to?

Sure, I’ll just email you my mailing address. After all, who would turn down being sent money?

Second, how would you like for your name appear on the money or check?

Of course, I would like my name to by printed on said money. How else would I possibly want it?

Maybe you can provide me with the following details below

Name:

Address:

City:

State:

Zip:

CELL OR PHONE:

Occupation:

What is your bank Name:

And that’s the end of the email. What a fabulous opportunity! Maybe I’ll just send him that info as well as my account and routing number. Hell, I should just post it to the blog so you’ll all be able to send me money more easily!

Just to be clear: there are lots of schemes like this around- some are obvious like this one, some are really professional scam artists. They must have people who fall for them or else they wouldn’t bother sending emails like this around. Please, dear readers, always use your common sense and be careful. If something is too good to be true, it usually is. Nobody gives away free money.