Disclaimer: I have used a few not so polite words in this post. Please excuse my language!
I have been coming across the same video a lot lately on Facebook. It is of a father who, upset about a Facebook post that his daughter put on her page complaining about him and her mother, shoots multiple bullets into the girl’s laptop. I had been reluctant to watch it, fearing that I would come across something that I disapproved of. However, as the repostings got more frequent, I became too curious not to see the video for myself. If you have not seen it, you can watch it here.
First of all, I understand the father’s anger and frustration. I understand that reading his daughter’s words of disapproval probably hurt his feelings. Teenagers are sometimes difficult to identify with and deal with and it can be emotionally challenging for all parties involved.
However, I also understand the daughter’s anger and frustration. She obviously feels that she is not being shown enough respect and love in her home. She must also not feel comfortable discussing her feelings with her parents, or else she would have done so instead of writing a Facebook post.
I think the father’s reaction was ridiculously childish. Instead of being a rational adult and dealing with his feelings in an appropriate way, he let his anger take over his actions. He could have used his daughter’s message as an opportunity to reach out to her, but chose to do the opposite. He could have ‘taught her a lesson’ in a funny or witty way, but chose to go with aggression.
I find his actions in the video despicable. What he is doing is being a big bully. Using a gun to resolve any issue just shows poor judgment and inability to communicate with others. The funny thing is that I’m sure he felt like such a badass shooting his daughter’s laptop. The truth is that any idiot can shoot a few bullets into a stationary object at close proximity- it doesn’t require any skill or thought. My 93 year old granny could have done the same thing without any issue! He made himself look like a total douchebag.
Furthermore, I find it disgusting that he needlessly destroys property. Absolutely unnecessary and juvenile. The only thing he has shown his daughter is that he cannot control his emotions and that her feelings are not as valid as his own.
Most people seem to view their children as their property until they reach the age at which they are legally an adult. What parents forget is that every human being- regardless of age- wants to feel like they are worth something and that they have at least partial control of their own lives. Destroying their property is mean and disrespectful.
From what the father said about his own childhood, he had a hard time. It sounded like his adolescence was rough and far from enjoyable. He may not have learned what parental love and respect feels like. I wish people would just take a minute to remember what it felt like to be a child, to be powerless. Maybe they would react differently to their children.
I hope that this father has not alienated his daughter beyond repair. I hope that they will one day be able to sit down together and openly talk to each other about their feelings.
To all of you who commended this father for ‘showing her who’s boss’: I hope you would never react in this way yourselves. I don’t think violence (and yes, the destruction of property with a gun is violence) is ever an acceptable solution, but I especially do not think it is the way to go when dealing with your own children.