If you know me, you know that I love co-sleeping. It's something that I never wanted to do before I had children- I always thought I would want my privacy. Instinctually, however, I never wanted to be apart from my babies. I believe most mothers feel the same, which is why we spend so much money on fabulous baby monitors and still check on our children often to make sure that they're breathing.
The big problem is that women feel bad about this behavior. They beat themselves up over being too much of a worrier, being too attached, etc. Here's the kicker: nature never intended for us to have big houses with separate rooms. Or cribs. Or monitors. Nature intended for us to have our babies with us at all times and sleep in a large group for protection. I know, I know, times are different now. But our babies don't know that! They have no idea that they are safe away from us until they are old enough to understand it.
And so the torture of mummies and children continues. Our children want to sleep with us, most mummies want it, too. Yet, when it happens, there is a feeling of guilt. There is even secrecy- most mothers I know would never openly admit to sleeping with their children, but when you talk to them alone they confess with a bowed head. There is also a fear that the child will never again leave the parents' bedroom. Which is, of course, quite ridiculous. Or do you know of any kid who went to college and brought his mummy with him/her? Probably not.
When we got our dog, we learned about doggie sleep behavior. Amongst other things, it was emphasized that dogs do not like to sleep alone because they want to be with their pack. Most people I know let their dog into their bedrooms because it is better for them. Why not do the same for your child? People don't like to sleep by themselves, either. That's why we have spouses!
Not all children like cosleeping and not all parents can sleep with someone in their bed. My daughter used to sleep with us, but is now much happier to be in her own bed. It is not a must. But if all parties involved want to do it, then please don't feel bad about it. Embrace it as one of the wonderful things in life. Who doesn't want to cuddle? Unfortunately, our children will grow up and then we will be sleeping alone again. At least we will still have dogs...
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| In 2008, when I was pregnant :-) |
I am one of those moms who can't sleep with a child in my bed. She is all over the place, and I am up all night. So, I only co-sleep when she is sick and needs the extra comfort. Plus, when she is sick I want to be close to her to monitor her well being. I can't stand for her to be upstairs in her room. But that is the exception, not the rule, in our house. This is one of those parenting issues I really believe is "to each her own." If it works for your family, fantastic. If not, that's fine too.
ReplyDeleteOh and our dog? Prefers to sleep on the floor. LOL We have a king size bed and have invited him up. He never lasts more than a few minutes once he stops getting tummy rubs. ;)
Thank you for the comment! I didn't necessarily mean in the bed. Co-sleeping to me is room or bed sharing, not just the latter. Our dogs don't sleep in our bed, but they want to be in the room with us :-)
ReplyDeleteI was so disappointed when Cole didn't sleep well with us, I had just assumed he would, and then Leah followed in his footsteps. Luckily both kids will snuggle up with us when they're sick, and also after naptime most days. On the rare occasions that I hold them until they fall asleep I close my eyes and try to memorize the feeling because I know these years will go by fast and before I know it Cole will be bigger than I am!
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